14 September 2005

"Mission" movies

What does it take to make a "mission" movie? A "mission" movie, for people who don't know what a "mission" movie is, is a movie where people are put together on a mission... a mission like combating terrorists or blasting-to-smithereens a meteor that's coming Earth's way. I'm sure a lot of you would have watched atleast one such movie.

I just saw one. Stealth. This one was no different from all the other mission movies i've seen. The only difference was the mission. The mission obviously had to be different, otherwise no one would watch it.

While watching Stealth, I started thinking about all the pre-requisite stuff that goes into making a mission movie. Here are some I thought of:

1. The team that's gonna do the mission usually comprises of people who are very different from each other. Some of them even have fights within themselves because of their differences. And most of the time, each one specialises in a particular skill which the others don't possess. However, there's always one guy who doesn't seem to have a role in the team. More about him in point 3.

2. You can't understand half of the dialogues in this movie, because it's technical jargon. I'm talking about stuff like:

"Captain, your mission objective was to destroy the designated targets."
"Captain, do you read me?"
"Captain, give me your position."
"Delta 4, 360. Co-ordinates 49, 536.54. Alpha 4252."
"OK Captain. Lock target."

And at this point, if the guy at the control center tells the pilot to do something that the pilot doesn't like, you see frustration on the pilot's face.

"Negative, Sir. I'm the commanding officer on this mission. Team, abort mission. Do you hear me? Abort mission. Terminate mission."
"Captain, are you disobeying my orders?"


During the interval, me and a friend started talking the way they do.

"Officer Rizwan, do you want some pepsi?"
"Officer Rizwan, do you read me?"
"Positive, Officer Guru."
"Do you want some pepsi, Officer? I repeat. Do you want some pepsi?"
"Negative, Officer. I would, however, like some popcorn."
"Are you sure, Officer?"

3. Someone in the team dies while in the mission. Usually, it's a guy everyone thinks is an asshole... someone who doesn't seem to have any purpose. I think the guys who select the team, while selecting the team, go through their profiles and say "This one's of no use. We could use him as the guy who dies if something fucks up."

4. The guys who die have wives, and before they die, they say stuff like "Tell Mary I love her." or "Mary, I love you."

5. The team, before going on the mission, walks confidently towards the camera in slow-motion, and in complete mission attire, like body suits, helmets, etc.. They sometimes walk this way after the mission is over, but not always, because they're all hurt n stuff, and they limp.

6. After the guy in the team dies, there's this renewed zeal in the entire team, thanks to one of them saying stuff like "Do it. Let's do it for Johnny". And people get this angry, determined look, and they complete the mission with a lot of feeling towards the dead guy.

7. The team always has conflicts with the guy in the control center, who's their boss. They disobey orders, etc.

8. There's a ceremony at the end of the movie, with people standing in line and in navy/army uniforms. There's a dais, with big photos of the dead guy/s, and all the dead guys smile real sweetly into the camera. The ceremony has a couple of people talking, and they say stuff like "Johnny was a brave guy. He had balls. He was this. He was that. He was a hero. The whole country's proud of him." etc. At this time, the team members are silently shedding tears, or if they're the manly types, they don't cry, but their eyes well up with tears.

9. The movie ends on a light note, with a joke, to show us that life goes on normally even after all this shit is over.

There are a lot more, but none comes to mind now. Leave a comment if you know more.


Supremus said...

First the comment above had me in splits! ROFL!

You ACTUALLY ventured to see Stealth! Wow, god help you my friend!

So whats been happenin?

Escape.... Great Escape said...

I suggest you watch such movies only in Thamizh.. you are bound to be surprised...

In "Rakshasa Paambugal - Ratha Manjariyin Vetai".. (Anacondas 2 - The hunt forblood Orchids... in case you were wondering... ) The lead character sings "Amaidhiyaana Nadhiyinile oadam... Oadum... Periya perya paambu vandhaal aadum" while on the Amazon.

Those guys have amazing sense of Humour I should say.

I recently watched "Marana Guhai.. and was ROTFL".. and yes ALL your points are true in any cheap B grade "Mission Movie"

(Are there any A grade mission movies ?" Probably Apocalypse NOW:)